Success means different things to different people. That being said, we’ve all felt that pressure to measure up to society’s idea of it. It often feels like we’re constantly chasing a target that’s just out of reach. But what if we shifted our perspective? What if success didn’t mean ticking the same old boxes? Instead we decide to live in a way that brings us fulfillment?
Let me tell you that when I was younger I was stuck in a cycle of living for others. I studied hard at school, because that is what was expected. I went to university because everyone was. Then, worst of all, I got a corporate job, because it paid well and was the path I was on.
The thing about that job was I knew I hated it before I started. The job was in banking and I had been told while studying to read “The Economist” to get my head in the game. The truth was, I thought it was the most boring thing I had ever read. So what possessed me to get a job in finance I will never know, but that is the path I took.
I soon realised that this job was not for me, but I did not know how to walk away. How to admit that I had made a mistake, so I stuck at it for 4 years. These were some of the worst years of my life where I would count the hours until the weekend. I would even celebrate when I got to Wednesday afternoon as I had completed more than half a week. Sad right?
Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, I had a major life event when I was 25. It was a trauma that was devastating but the best thing about it, it made me reevaluate what I wanted. It made me brave and so I jumped and left the corporate world. I am writing this post 16 years on from leaving that world and I have not looked back.
If you feel like you are trapped chasing a success you don’t want, these tips should help. I have put together five ideas that can help reshape how you think about success:
1. Redefine Success Based on Personal Values
Success isn’t only about career milestones or financial gains. Sure, these are important but what matters is aligning your goals with your core values. Those of you that have worked with me know I am always talking about core values. That is because they are so important and what so many people miss out.
To discover them, ask yourself: What really matters to me? Is it freedom, creativity, security, or adventure? When you begin to build your definition of success around your values things change. You’ll feel more inspired, energised and find a deeper sense of fulfillment.
2. Embrace the Journey, Not the Destination
Ok, so as a yoga teacher I have probably overused this phrase but that is because it is so important. In life we often focus so much on the end goal that we miss the joy in the steps we take to get there. Life isn’t a straight line to some ultimate achievement but a series of twists and turns that shape us.
In my life I have taken directions and even taken u-turns to find my happy place. This could especially be said for finding where I want to live. But I have experienced so much joy moving around the country, meeting new people. I have visited cities that I didn’t know much about and had a lot of fun. Have I reached my final destination, somehow I doubt it, but you never know.
Learn to appreciate the lessons along the way. You’ll feel more content with where you are, even if you’re not quite where you want to be.
3. Let Go of Comparisons
This is such a big one for all of us. It’s easy to compare yourself to others, especially in the age of social media. But if we go back to the first point and core values, you don’t know what values someone else has. You don’t know what they want out of life or if they are as happy as they appear.
Success isn’t about being “better” than someone else. It’s about being the best version of yourself. Focus on your growth, not someone else’s highlight reel. The only comparison that matters is who you were yesterday versus who you are today.
For example, I have people in my life who are married and have a couple of kids, home etc and live a traditional life. It is easy to look at their lives and wonder why I don’t have what they have. And truth is, I have been guilty of slipping into that mentality and feeling like a failure. Then I remind myself that I have never wanted a traditional life. I love my freedom and independence, I love not conforming to the norm. So in that respect, I am wildly successful.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
Everyday we have small wins and these will all add up over time. So for example, on building this blog to where it is today and going beyond there are lots of little steps. Publishing one post is a win. Adding an image to a post, another win. Getting the right layout for my blog, massive win. None of these things on their own will make my blog a success. But when I combine all the little things they will make it a success.
This is important to remember because often, we overlook our progress. We become fixated on the big picture and forget there is a path to get there. Recognize your daily victories, however minor they may seem. These little moments of progress are what lead to long-term growth.
5. Focus on Balance Over Hustle
How often have you told yourself “I just need to work a bit harder”. I know, I’ve been there. Truth is, that is often the worst thing you can do. It leads you to forget self care and ultimately burn out. And after burning out while in banking, it is not something you want to experience.
Don’t get me wrong, working hard is valuable, but a balanced life is more sustainable. Success shouldn’t come at the cost of your health, relationships, or mental peace. Find time for the things that nourish your spirit and relationships. When you’re happier and more balanced, you’ll be more productive and creative.
Conclusion
By shifting our perspective on success, we can start living life with more purpose and joy. Focus on what matters to you, embrace the journey, and let go of comparisons. Celebrate each step forward. Remember that your well-being is as important as your achievements.
What shifts will you make to find success on your terms?
