Getting this blog post to you today has been a bit of a mission for so many reasons, one of them being I have had the wonderful job of completing a VAT return this week. (Really not fun!) So I wanted to get that completed as quickly as possible so that I didn’t have to think about it again for 3 months, all done so I am having a mini internal party, if that doesn’t sound too weird.
The other thing that has been making everything so difficult to me is dealing with disappointment and anger about being let down by someone I really care about. It is quite hard to actually tell you about it but someone who I thought I could trust and should be able to trust betrayed me a few years ago and I have spent the last 2 years learning to trust them again. Then just when I was comfortable trusting them the rug was pulled out form under me and I realised that everything over the last year or so was only done so they could get something and not about building a relationship and I am right back where I was before.
When I say I am where I was before that is slightly untrue, the pain this time is not as bad. The only thing that keeps coming into my head is the saying “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” So I suppose I am mostly just disappointed with myself for being taken in but then I look at it and think that I have done nothing wrong other than trust which is not a bad quality. Maybe it is the journey I have been on over the last few years but it is easier now to be objective (some of the time!) and to walk away.
One of the things that I have been thinking about is when do you enough is enough and walk away from someone, even if they are a family member. It was something I had to face at a young age when at 15 I discontinued contact with my alcoholic father for 5 years. It was then almost impossible to get any real relationship back and when he killed himself I was 25 and had little or no contact with him. So do I do the same thing now and cut someone else out of my life with the acceptance that I might not ever have a relationship again or do I just take a breath and move past it?
These options seem to leave me in a bit of a quandary, one way I risk losing someone I really care about and love forever or I have to be someone that accepts being pushed around. This is something I have thought about quite a lot and it has led me to the place where I do not want to be the person that is pushed around. I have decided to take the approach of telling the person how their actions have affected me and the way it is damaging our relationship and see what sort of reaction I get. This will hopefully make a decision easier to make and maybe give me more options. I will let you know.
Ok so that is enough of all the depressing emotional talk and on to something that is far more fun, snacking. I do a lot of yoga and in fact a lot of exercise in general and so have a larger protein requirement so when I look for snacks I go for ones with high protein content. Also snacks like these that are high in protein are lower GL and so don’t affect your blood sugar.
When I want to have a snack that is going to keep me full then 2 of these protein balls with a glass of vegan milk is a great choice and always gets me fired up after a workout. They are relatively low on sweetness and a really low GL snack.